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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989685">It's a spectrum.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eatons/pseuds/Eatons'>Eatons</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Other, THEY ARE HOMIES PLEASE DONT SHIP THEM, anxiety fucking sucks, karl and tubbo best friends confirmed, karl is also the coolest cat around, tommy is a really good homie, tubbo also has ANXIETY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:02:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eatons/pseuds/Eatons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Have you just googled my sexuality before i could even tell you?"</p><p>OR</p><p>In which tubbo tells his best friend why he's been a little confused lately.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Karl Jacobs &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>215</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's a spectrum.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello i wrote this at 4 am when i was confused about my own sexuality and this came out of it so pog i guess</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“are you streaming right now?” Tubbo asks, the slightest bit of concern apparent in his voice.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“I’m not, tubbo we’ve been through this already. Why are you so antsy all of a sudden?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo shifts uncomfortably. </p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Should I even bring this up?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“man, whats going on?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“do you think it’s like weird that… that I don’t…”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I can’t do this, I can’t do this, he’ll think im a freak, he’ll-</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“tubbo, man, I can tell when something is bothering you. Seriously, what is it?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “I don’t like girls, tommy.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>There’s a beat of silence between the two.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>He totally thinks im a freak what if he never talks to me again i-</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“toby. Big man. Big t. that is totally cool. Lgbtq is pogchamp, remember?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo lets out a frustrated sigh, “no! I mean yes lgbtq is pogchamp, but that’s not what I meant. I mean I don’t like boys either. I don’t really… feel that kind of stuff.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>There’s several beats of silence, and typing could be heard on the other line.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“tommy?? I know that sounds ridiculous and doesn’t really make sense but i-“</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“ah-s… ah-sexual? Wait, no that’s not right. Aye-sexual, innit then?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“have you just googled my sexuality before I could even tell you?” tubbo lets out a laugh, happy to get rid of this tension built up in his body.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Soon after tommy joins in, “I reckon you were struggling a bit there I was trying to help you out,” he managed to get out through their bursts of laughter.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>They stay like that for a moment, and tubbo soaks it in. this moment, him desperately trying to find the words to explain what he feels, but tommy knows him well enough to throw him an anchor, a lifeline. He was drowning and he knows it, but somehow tommy knew exactly how to get him back up for air.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“hey tubbo, I reckon karl is asexual. He could probably answer any questions you have or something.” Tommy suggests, knowing tubbo probably isn’t bold enough to take him up on it.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo snorts, “yeah right. I just about had a heart attack trying to tell you that. And I didn’t even get to tell you myself.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“oh, my bad, my bad. I- uh- I do have a question though.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“ask away, I suppose.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tommy whispers, “you still love the queen, right?”</p><p>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tubbo has disconnected from the vc</em>
</p><p>
  <strong><br/>
</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><br/>
</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><br/>
</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><br/>
</strong>
</p><p><strong>Tommyinnit:</strong> TUBBO</p><p><strong>Tommyinnit:</strong> YOU STILL LOVE THE QUEEN RIGHT…</p><p><strong>Tommyinnit:</strong> TUBBOOOO</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo lets out an amused giggle at his reaction and sighs at the weight that’s been lifted off his shoulders. He knows he made a bigger deal then he should have, why would tommy think he’s a freak?? Just because he wasn’t attracted to people like that?</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>Anxiety was funny like that sometimes.</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He powers off his computer and plops down on his bed. He stares at the ceiling thinking about what tommy said.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>"I reckon karl is asexual. He could probably answer any questions you have or something."</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He groans.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>there’s no way I can have this conversation again. And with karl? I barely know karl. I guess it can’t hurt.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He opens his phone, can’t be bothered to power on his computer again, and opens his discord chat with karl Jacobs.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>What am I doing?</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>If he notices the giant knot forming in his stomach, he tries not to think about it.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He fails.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Hey karl, can we talk?|</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Ugh, no that sounds so serious.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>KARL!|</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Yeah, yeah that’s good.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Tubbo:</strong> KARL!</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>Karl Jacobs is typing…</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Was that too strong?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Karl Jacobs:</strong> TUBBO! What is up</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Tubbo:</strong> I just have a question for you</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>Karl Jacobs is typing…</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>What if he thinks that’s weird?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Karl Jacobs:</strong> wanna vc?</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Oh god oh fuck, this is literally the worst thing you could have asked karl-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Karl Jacobs:</strong> join vc 3</p><p><br/>
</p><p><strong>Tubbo:</strong> let me hop on my laptop</p><p><br/>
</p><p>This however, was a lame excuse for tubbo to give a quick pep talk to himself before entering the belly of the beast.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>His cursor hovered over vc 3. He inhaled sharply and entered the vc.</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“tubbo! Hey man, what did you wanna talk about?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He could feel the heightened curiosity oozing from his voice.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Of course he’s curious this is really fucking weird that I’ve randomly messaged him.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“tubbo?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“uh, yeah, yeah, I’m here- sorry if this is quite random I’ve just- uh anyway,” he took in another breath trying to ease the slight shaking in his hands.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“hey man, breathe. You’re okay. What’s up, you’re kind of worrying me here.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He lets out an awkward laugh, “im fine. Um so you know how on the scuffed podcast you mentioned you’re asexual? Or on the spectrum at least.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“yeah, that’s true I did,” tubbo could hear the smug smile on his face, “is that your only question?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“so you’re not attracted to boys or girls? Like you know like…”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“tubbo I know what you’re trying to say please spare us both the rest of that sentence. But yeah, more or less. It’s not really that black and white, though. I consider myself to be asexual, but I feel I could still have feelings for somebody. You’re asking cause you’re just curious or is something else on your mind?”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Damnit karl. So intuitive when I don’t want you to be.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“I don’t really like girls. Or boys for that matter. I was thinking I might be asexual, but it’s kind of scary to think about. I know it’s not the same thing as being like, gay, or anything, but I thought tommy might think I’ a freak or something-“</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“wait- tommy thought you were a freak? When I get my hands on that kid-“ karl spat through gritted teeth as tubbo let out a giggle.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“no, no not at all. He’s actually the one who recommended I talk to you about this.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“oh really? Interesting. Tubbo, sexuality is one of the most complicated things we gotta deal with in our lives. If you don’t want a label, you don’t need one. You’re still young as well. You’ll be alright, dude, I promise you that.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo can’t help the water in his eyes. When it doesn’t fall, he knows it’s because he doesn’t let it.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>He sniffles, “thank you karl. This helped a lot. I guess it’s just my anxiety, sorry for springing this on you-“</p><p><br/>
</p><p>“nonsense, anytime. Wanna hop on the smp for a bit? Thinking about starting my own bee farm.”</p><p><br/>
</p><p>Tubbo smiled.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Maybe things would be okay after all.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p><br/>
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